After a three-week bout with illness, I'm back in the land of the living. This has been a time of relearning how to give control over to a higher power. I am once again committed to my own personal practices of meditation and of the 12 twelve steps. Thank goodness for sponsors and divine intervention.
My anxiety has been so high lately that I cannot help but see the cracks in my recovery... especially in my ability to release control. Trusting is difficult, but nothing helps me understand how to trust like a period of time when my body--something I am particularly close to--behaves in ways I don't understand and can't seem to control. My body is miraculous. Its healing power is phenomenal. I am repeatedly amazed. My body's resilience reminds me to trust it more, rest it more, and not to push it in order to distract myself from emotional turmoil.
I am now forced to face the tough anxiety and emotions I've been having this year. I cannot force-feed my body or over-exercise it to make feelings of physical discomfort replace the deeper emotional and mental discomforts. It has been a difficult time, but it has consequently put me back on track. I am trusting every minute--for healing and for joy.
And it's a great thing, because I have an important event this weekend. Storyville, the jazz group I sing in, will be at The French Corner on Sunday at 8pm. Read more about it on my Upcoming Gigs page. This is a major concert we've been working toward for a while. I'm excited to share the interesting things we do vocally with an audience. If you are in Houston, come out! I'll be happy to talk with you about all the craziness that has been happening lately.
"When it rains, it pours," they say. For me, when it pours, it's never all bad or all good. It's always a mix of a bunch of everything. And I'm proud to say, I can take it... and give it back over to a higher power ;)