I could blog. I could write. I could clean my bathroom and mop the floor. But no, I want to eat a giant sandwich and watch Project Runway! And I'm letting myself.
Can't I give myself a break? I balanced my checkbook; paid my rent, water, and electricity; started my laundry; and reprogrammed my cell phone earlier today. That's a significant number of accomplishments. Hey, I even wrote a song. No kidding. Not sure how it happened, but it flowed.
Then again, I do know how it happened. I'm letting myself go with the flow. I'm letting myself enjoy. I could have gone to help clean up a city park today, but I was too tired to even begin to get out of bed before 10am. I've been letting myself flit around this morning, resulting in a freeness of mind. It's okay not to accomplish everything on my list of to-dos.
Nothing terrible is going to happen if I don't get my car shampooed today. (My attempts at post-flood cleanup left things worse than before, I think...but the smell is masked!) Same goes for cleaning the bathroom. It can wait another day. I can enjoy one day of my weekend, sleep in, and just take it as it comes. It's okay. My desires are welcome.
And looking back, as I listed earlier, I've still managed to do plenty of the tasks I had set before me. I didn't even mention the research I did into a new cell phone and laptop! Relaxing alone is an accomplishment. I feel good.
Anyway, I've reached out to a friend today. I'm sure I'll reach out more later. It's the ebb and flow of life, I'm learning. I venture into myself, I relax, I go back out, I fight the hard fight, I venture back in. It's a little cycle, and I never know how long I'll be in any stage or what that stage will look like exactly.
The main thing is that I'm still enjoying life. Maybe that seems ridiculous to some, considering the amount of effort I expend simply giving myself permission to do what I want to do, but I am enjoying life. I like the way I over-analyze a bit. It's okay. Everything belongs, right? In its own portion.
And you can do it, too. Let yourself relax. Eventually, the tasks that really need to be done will rise to the surface. By then, you may even WANT to do them. Why force yourself to do them now if they are, in fact, non-essential? Of course, there are certain things we must force ourselves to do sometimes. Why not embrace the moments when forcing things isn't necessary?
I mean, I can't watch Project Runway FOREVER, can I? Can I?...
Check it out: I ended up blogging anyway, without even realizing what I was doing... ;)