What if I systematically removed person after person from my life? What if I chose not to associate with one person at a time, until the only one left was me? Could I then eliminate myself?
I wouldn't choose that. I sometimes fear that I'll choose it, but the true Michelle never would. She reaches out and loves but also retreats into a quiet space at times. I'll let the universe choose the ebb and flow of people in my life.
I want to live inside music. Nowhere else feels safe in the same way. The outside world melts away, and everything I do is permissible -- glorious even.
Perhaps the truth is that I already do live inside music. I come alive in my music. When I share it with others, I hope they can see a little bit of what I am like fully alive, fully free, liberated, and happy. Alone, I enjoy; I curl up in comfort. I regain something every time I lose myself in a song.
I would also like to live inside a giant pile of clothes fresh from the dryer... if it were possible to breathe inside the mound ;)